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The current year represents a full decade since the word “vanishing” entered the mainstream. Back then, the concept that someone could suddenly stop contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the peak of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, seeking a significant other has only become more bewildering – an commonly pointless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by online lingo.

Zoomers, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial predecessors could ever imagine. And so their dating lexicon has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” pushing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a extensive glossary to the terms gen Z is using to discuss romance, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the recent most viral memes, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Realness – In the view of gen Z, romance's gold standard is presenting as your true, raw self. Good luck with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A social media test inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's reply is engaged or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She might still have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This signifies seeking out someone who helps you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people form a link while doing chores, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do budget-friendly dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 80s yuppie affluence, it describes partners who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of being guarded: utilizing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits suggesting a potential partner is trouble. Examples include calling their exes unstable, bad gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks confirm your decision to pursue a mate. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, largely benign idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and frequently trivial dealbreakers that immediately kill any sense of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic gesture.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {